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So Many Times Before (Circular Reasoning)

One wouldn’t think listening to this song which is sort of about reincarnation that it was inspired by a woman. But in the 70s I religiously listened to Margot Adler’s drivetime show on WBAI, Unstuck in Time, and developed a bit of a celebrity crush on her. I actually got to meet her when BAI did a performance of Gilbert and Sullivan’s Ruddigore and I volunteered to sing in the chorus. She was very friendly and interesting and I remember at one rehearsal sharing marzipan which I had brought for her. I sent a poorly recorded version of this song and another one of my songs, Where the Wasteland Ends, to her and she wrote back and said if they were better quality she would definitely play them on the air. Years later I ran into her on the Upper West Side, she remembered me, my name, and the songs. BAI changed my life in many ways, and Margot was one of the reasons for that, her show that is. I was quite heartbroken to learn that she died in 2014. This song would have never been written if not for her, which would have been a shame, since it’s a sweet song, and underscores for me how I can write with conviction about things I don’t believe in (although it’s usually to get the attention of a woman).

I did most of the arranging of this song which I take some pride in, as it sounds exactly like I wanted it to sound.



So Many Times Before (Circular Reasoning)

Here my journey’s ended
Here I hope to rest
At best
The night with ever dimming light
Will bring my distant past
Back home at last
Like a shipwrecked sailor
Washed upon the shore
I gaze upon the sand
And come to understand
I’ve been here
So many times before

Prisons ’round me crumble
But am I really free
What chances will there be
What life is left for me
If I’m eternally
A refugee
Forced into the future
Can I long ignore
My pace as I push forward
The place I’m heading toward
Where I’ve been
So many times before

I’m caught up in the swirling winds
Of things that have already been
There’s nothing left to hide
The screaming fear inside
Comes out a lullaby

Keep the lantern burning
Only shadows fall
I’m young enough to climb
I’m unafraid of time
The music is sublime
I shall not stall
God and goddess greet me
Here at heaven’s door
I beg of you to show me
That you know me
I’ve been here
So many times before.