This Side of the Border

In the period after Rosalind and I had split up, I wrote this song. I subsequently lost the lyrics and tried to piece it together from what I remembered. Years later I found part of the song written in one of my notebooks. This version is a combination of all that, but it’s still not what I originally wrote, which is a bit frustrating. And in any event, it doesn’t really reflect our relationship. But it’s fun to sing.

This Side of the Border

It’s a tangled affair

Leaves us both dangling in the air

Where do we go from here

Why should we care

I remember the clarity

I once felt watching you watching me

All I see now’s a vacancy

All you see is my stare

                I hear what you say

                I just don’t see it that way

                These things never work like they oughta

                You’re at home in the pines

                I prefer the old mines

                One finds this side of the border

Just this morning I wandered back

To that shack where our love jumped the track

Was it something your listening lacked

Or something I didn’t say

There’s supposed to be growth from pain

But as I walked that familiar terrain

I got caught in a driving rain

That washed our footprints away

                All the bridges we crossed

                All the ways that we lost

                Now delusion’s divorced from disorder

                The old house looks so near

                You just can’t get there from here

                That’s clear this side of the border.

Seems out dreams have gone bust somehow

And I know you don’t trust me now

But I think that we must allow

Life to lead us away                           

This decision was hard to make

This division is harder to take

I can see you had much at stake

And I had so much to say

                I thought I’d be free

                Just how dumb can one be

                I carry with me all the signs of a slaughter

                You keep calling my name

                As if I’m to blame

                For the pain this side of the border