Sam’s Song

Sam is the stillborn brother of my other son, Kobe. I wrote this song shortly after the birth/death. The Hebrew is part of a prayer that Robin recited as she held Sam in the hospital. It translates as: May God smile on you, and grant you peace.

Sam’s Song

Though we’ve already said goodbye

Still need to give it one more try

You see I’m not quite sure just where to go

And I’m wondering now will I ever know

Of course I realize that you

Were really only passing through

But it’s becoming very clear to me

That you were meant to be part of the family

            Sometimes you leave, sometimes you stay

            Sometimes you find yourself pulled away

            Just want to say given who I am

            Yisa adonai panav ei-lecha

            V’yasem l’cha shalom

            And thanks for the kisses, Sam

Certain feelings still persist

Like wondering what I might have missed

And never knowing what’s around the bend

Of the road not taken

I still am haunted by the fear

That I will lose what you left here

I realize now why I must be strong

And not get lost, thinking I did something wrong

            Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose

            Sometimes you find yourself all confused

            You left us here to do the best we can

            Yisa adonai panav ei-lecha

            V’yasem l’cha shalom

            And thanks for the kisses, Sam

                        Thanks for the dreams, though it seems

                        It was never meant to be

                        Thanks for the ride, though inside

                        I can’t trust the memory

                        Thanks for this song, and the chance to sing  

                        But thank you most of all, Sam, for listening

But no matter how I try

Can’t see what’s good about goodbye

And up to now as far as I can tell

There’s nothing fair about farewell

This is just a prayer I pray      

To help ease me on my way

And if this journey takes me anywhere

I like to think you’ll be waiting there.

            Sometimes you fall, sometimes you fly

            Sometimes you don’t know whether to laugh or cry

            Sometimes you see just why you need

            To hold your brother’s hand

            Yisa adonai panav ei-lecha

            V’yasem l’cha shalom

            And thanks for the kisses, Sam